Climbing out of the Pit

In my last post, I described the exhilarating celebration of watching my dad take his last earthly breath, knowing his following breath would be in heaven.  It was clearly the best high of my life.  Words will never be able to explain that moment.  It's true though, in the five months that have followed, my family has deeply ached over his absence.  I am extremely grateful for friends and family who have gone out of their way to make us meals, write cards, clean our house, visit and pray with us.  I will admit though, that even with an abundance of blessing and grace from people, I still have many moments of feeling like I am  living in a deep pit, not knowing how to climb out.  In these moments not even Dan is able help.  It is through these times though, the only way I know to keep moving is by reading God's word, listening to music, and praying.  Sometimes I'm inspired by the Bible, music and prayer; other times I'm dead in the head and feel nothing.  But I haven't stopped pursuing Christ through it all! This week I have been reading through the Book of Job in the Old Testament.  I love reading this story about a faithful man who pursues God with everything, even in the midst of tragedy!   If you aren't sure about Job's story, let me share the gist of it with you.

{ In Job Chapter One, we're told Job was the greatest man, blameless and upright, who feared God and hated evil.  He had an abundance of everything and God protected him from trouble. One day Satan challenges God to test Job's faith and trust.  Satan says to God in Job 1:11, "Stretch out your hand and strike everything Job has, and he will surely curse you to your face."  God allows Satan to test Job, in order to prove Job's faithfulness. In short, Satan attacks Job's body with horrific sores, and destroys his children and property.  Job's life crumbles before him. 

Through all of these sufferings, Job's wife asks an important question.  "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!

 Job boldly replies, 'You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" 

Job enters into a time of questioning God's reasons for these painful heartaches.  Although he's living a life of agony and torment, his questioning and outcries never speak against God. Job proclaims in 42:2, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted."

After a period of time, God finally speaks to Job and reminds him of his Awesome power and control.  In the end, through all of Job's sufferings, God is honored by Job's faithfulness.  Job 42:12-16 tells us Job is blessed even more in the second part of life than the first.  He lives to be 140, with wealth, prosperity, and the most beautiful daughters in all the land and gives his children a great inheritance.}

Reading through Job reminds me that we all have a choice to make when it comes to facing tragedy.  We can choose to trust God through the pain, even when we don't understand, or we can choose to turn away.  I choose to have faith! He may allow me to sit in a period of darkness where he doesn't immediately speak, or where I don't feel immediately gratified, but I know he still deeply loves me.    He wants to know I will trust in Him. Often times I'm so busy with my children and day to day activities that I tell myself I don't have time to sit down and focus on His word.  And yet when I do take the time to stop, read, pray, and listen, I am able to breathe slower,and feel myself being pulled out of this pit.

I'm not sure what God has in store for my life in the future, good or bad. But what I do know is the only way I will thrive or survive is by loving Christ first and seeking His plan for me.  Dad, I can't wait to see again! God, I can't wait to meet you face to face! For now, I'll go on living this beautiful life I've been given.

"We get knocked down, we get back up. We take the brunt. We toughen up. Cause we, know who holds forever. We know this is not the end." From the song, Alright, by the band, Mosteller. To listen to Mosteller, click on the following link